busy_i_am2007
Yes, we know what causes it!
Reged: 01/08/07
Posts: 2894
Loc: USA
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The closer it gets to Christmas the more I am missing my mom. I thought it would be a bit easier this Christmas because last Christmas was the first year without her, but it's not, seems harder to me.
I miss her baking the pies and homemade bread she would make. She would buy all of us kids a box of chocolate covered cherries and wrap it up. We always knew what that present was.
She always made sure the tree was lit up and the front porch had lights also. Now there is nothing. My dad didn't put up the tree or lights last year and said he won't this year either.
After mom died dad said everything was going to stay the same way, but it's not. And I miss the way it was during Christmas. I still have a hard time going over my dad's house, so many memories of my wonderful mom.
Sorry this is so long, just need to get this out.
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Amy-wife to Sean
and mom to.. 3 boys, 5 girls, 1 ~Angel~.
 
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thimbleluvr
Apples and Ladybugs
Reged: 02/22/06
Posts: 1719
Loc: Nebraska
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I would imagine it must be rough to have your holidays changed through no fault of your own. Hang in there!
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Amy
SAHM to Annelyn, Jessica, Alex, Lyndsey, Melissa & ???
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busy_i_am2007
Yes, we know what causes it!
Reged: 01/08/07
Posts: 2894
Loc: USA
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Thanks, I am trying to hang in there, but it sure is tough.
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Amy-wife to Sean
and mom to.. 3 boys, 5 girls, 1 ~Angel~.
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misaacmom
Baby Bubble Blower
Reged: 02/22/06
Posts: 2
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I have heard that the 2nd christmas is harder than the first. Maybe you can find some way to honor your mom and make this time a little easier. Will be thinking of you.
Edited by misaacmom (12/12/09 10:56 PM)
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chazzsmom99
Klamath River Rat
Reged: 10/19/06
Posts: 139
Loc: near Oregon border
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I don't know what is rougher, having a mom who passed away, or a mother who treats her daughter as if she were invisible. In some ways, I think it's better she's still alive, even tho' I'm like dead to her, but on other days I think it would be easier for my son if she was gone, so I won't have to make excuses for her. This is our first Christmas w/o her, and it's not fun, but I have found that I have a family in my church, who accepts me for me, not because they have to, and that makes things much better most days. I still miss her though.
I'm thinking I'm going to bypass this part of the forum right now-I can't handle it well with the holidays.
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Peggi
http://www.outoftheboxsampler.com
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CleverMoms
Mama in Charge
Reged: 10/02/06
Posts: 34508
Loc: Northern Virginia
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I am so sorry Peggy :((( I have my share of mom/daughter issues with my mom but it has been quite a few years since we have resolved things. We had a 'bump' for quite a while but now we have the most amazing relationship one could imagine. I still shake my head about it. I think once I started seeing her as a person and accepting her for who she was, rather than who I thought she should be ( a tv mom or something, lol) things got 100% better. I am sorry you are going through this tough time.. I don't know specifically what your situation is but I pray that whatever it is will come to some sort of peaceful, loving resolution soon, and this pain you have is taken away. Lots of hugs to you :)))
Amy...
I think about you often and remember vividly your losses. I think about your mom and realize she must have been a totally amazing person because you are such an amazing mom... you had to get that influence from her! She must have been so proud of you and your lovely family. Once we lose someone, things are never the same.. that is probably one of the worst realities. See if you can gather some pictures and create a scrapbook of your mom at the holidays, something you can bring out every year to illuminate her memory. You will never forget, but it will bring those memories alive for your children who may be too young now to remember. That way her spirit will live on, and all of these things you miss, in time, will bring a smile to you, because you have been blessed with such wonderful memories. Hang in there and know you are in lots of prayers this holiday.. and though things will never be the same... the pain will ease in time ;)
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Julia
Freebie Grabber
Reged: 02/22/06
Posts: 1970
Loc: Southern Louisiana
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Peggi, time usually heals all wounds. Been there with my mom when I was 18. Now my mom depends on me for a lot. Out of her six children, I do the most for her. I usually get more for Christmas because of it, he he.
Anne, that scrapbook is a great idea. I have tears in my eyes reading that.
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busy_i_am2007
Yes, we know what causes it!
Reged: 01/08/07
Posts: 2894
Loc: USA
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I am definatly going to do the scrapbook! I was crying reading it. Thank you for the idea! What hurts the most is that Cassidy never got to meet my mom. I do have some videos of my mom from a few years ago.
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Amy-wife to Sean
and mom to.. 3 boys, 5 girls, 1 ~Angel~.
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Julia
Freebie Grabber
Reged: 02/22/06
Posts: 1970
Loc: Southern Louisiana
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Maybe you are the one that needs to break the ice. You go over there for Christmas so Cassidy can meet her grandmaw.
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chazzsmom99
Klamath River Rat
Reged: 10/19/06
Posts: 139
Loc: near Oregon border
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That is so important, for families to connect. Sometimes it's hard to be the one to break the ice, but for the kid's sake, it can be the best thing.
Time heals, yes, but forgiveness is a hard thing to accomplish. I have to be proud of myself, though; when my brother came down for Thanksgiving, I was able to talk about our mother, I was happy to find I was able to talk without anger. So, I'm on the road; it's just harder at holidays.
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Peggi
http://www.outoftheboxsampler.com
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busy_i_am2007
Yes, we know what causes it!
Reged: 01/08/07
Posts: 2894
Loc: USA
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Quote:
Maybe you are the one that needs to break the ice. You go over there for Christmas so Cassidy can meet her grandmaw.
Break the ice?? My mom died unexpectantly last year. My mom and I were close.
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Amy-wife to Sean
and mom to.. 3 boys, 5 girls, 1 ~Angel~.
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Julia
Freebie Grabber
Reged: 02/22/06
Posts: 1970
Loc: Southern Louisiana
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Oops, I got you mixed up with chazzsmom99.
Sorry!
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busy_i_am2007
Yes, we know what causes it!
Reged: 01/08/07
Posts: 2894
Loc: USA
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Quote:
Oops, I got you mixed up with chazzsmom99.
Sorry!
I thought maybe there was a mix up. No harm done.
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Amy-wife to Sean
and mom to.. 3 boys, 5 girls, 1 ~Angel~.
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chazzsmom99
Klamath River Rat
Reged: 10/19/06
Posts: 139
Loc: near Oregon border
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I wondered, but since I'm new here I thought there are things I don't know, lol!
As to my mom, she doesn't even see me when we meet at community events; she doesn't answer emails, or the phone when I call. If I go over there, my stepfather threatened to call the cops.
What is at the root of all this? Earlier this year, my husband had his leg amputated; 2 days after that, we got an eviction notice to move in 60 days. Why? Because I asked for help to get him inside, ie, a ramp. All these bad feelings came from the past election-we are Dems, they are Repubs-and stepfather could not stand the thought of a black president. Even tho' when Bush was in office and I disliked that, I still respected the office of the Presidency; it was how my grandmother raised me. So after Obama was elected, my stepfather (who is getting up there in years), went a little nuts. Literally. He made that whole property his kingdom, including friends of his that want to overthrow the government. Not good for us, really bad for our son. So, long story short, when we insisted on our legal rights (which in his mind, there were none, if there is no gov't) for the floor to be fixed in the laundry so hubby could go over it to get into the rest of the house, repurcussions happened. We built the ramp, with help from our friends, to get my husband up to the house. All this happened in a matter of days, (the build up to the eviction), right before his leg was amputated. Hubby was in the hospital from Nov. 08 to Feb. 09 with infections that caused the bone in his foot and ankle to basically disinegrate-it was very rough time for us.
So, a few months later, after much help from God, my heart is pretty much fixed. God teaches forgiveness, and I struggled with that, still do, but now my next hurdle is to forget.
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Peggi
http://www.outoftheboxsampler.com
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CleverMoms
Mama in Charge
Reged: 10/02/06
Posts: 34508
Loc: Northern Virginia
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I have been thinking about you Peggi, wondering how you are doing... You had quite a year last year, and I am praying this year will be better for you :)))
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Please remember to click through our links when you shop! :0)
http://www.CleverMoms.com
http://www.CleverDads.com
http://www.Cleverbabies.com
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